A Saturday in July

One of the best guys I ever knew: #hillwood

I was really looking forward to seeing Jeff that Saturday night at Fred’s party. I hadn’t seen him in a while, but we stayed in touch.

Last week I signed a new account near Jackson: “I’ll check in with… I need to talk to you. I want to celebrate. I need your advice about a tech issue. I need to hear your contagious laughter.”

I remember talking with Vicki at Woodlawn. She started to tremble, trying to tell me…I stopped her. “Try to just get thru this part of the day. You are allowed to fall apart later.” I didn’t plan on that conversation. The words just came flying out of my mouth. I gave her my business card and a hug. I should have asked for her number in case she didn’t call me. Maybe she needed to fall apart right then and there? Who was I to say?

She didn’t reach out. Surely it couldn’t get any worse…find her. A personal issue distracted me. Before I knew it, another world quietly collapsed. I didn’t even know she was right down the street from me.

I still feel pain and loss. I can’t imagine how much amplification of that emotion feels like on the other end. Thanks for sharing. It’s important.

the ramblings

daddy

“No one sees it coming. No one walks when they should’ve been running.” – Brandi Carlile

   I don’t know what I expected. Cans of beans and jugs of purified water stocked in neat rows in a linen closet. Clunky, metal  lock securing a dimly lit bunker. Boarded windows. A dreaded date circled on a calendar. Public hysteria. Or maybe something of Biblical proportions. Earth would shake and flood and rot, fire spit from the sky, the good called evil and the evil called good, a mighty storm would wash the world away. In retrospect, perhaps the last guess was as close as any. The hardest part to grasp, the fearful bit, is that it’s hard to tell when the world is ending. No clear signs, no lightning bolts, no voice of God booming “RUN. DON’T WALK!.” For all the times we’ve bit our lips and waited for it, anticipating…

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